Us
by SigynDenning
Summary: A week before Loki leaves for college, Thor asks him to stay. ModernAu, Thorki.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello, pplz! I am back—finally. This is one of two stories I wrote for Camp NaNoWriMo, which was really fun! There were several amazing people on Tumblr with whom I shared a cabin (Norationalthoughtrequired, Lizardbeths, and Jordanwyn), and I want to thank them for all the encouragement they gave me in finishing this! Originally, the idea was going in the trash pile, but then I realized my first story wouldn't have enough words for me to reach my goal. Sooo, it actually happened. (I also want to thank Zoroasterperetola on Tumblr for inspiring me.) I intended it to be about 3000 words. It turned out to be 13k, whoops. XD Also turned out to be more angsty than fluffy, but _whatever_. That's normal. And it's still more fluffy than the other story... Norns help me. XD Hope you all enjoy!

Warning: If you're not into incest or Thorki, then this is probably not for you. There's another story that I'm close to posting in which Thorki will be minimal (and skip-able), and I have plans for a gen fic in the future. This, however, is blatantly sexual. Turn back nowww. XD

Summary: A week before Loki leaves for college, Thor asks him to stay.

* * *

Day One

Loki finally surrenders and turns from his computer to face his brother full on. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Not only does the game give Thor an excuse to join his brother's company, but it also lends him a chance to keep hold of that company forever. Despite Loki's clear irritation, Thor won't back down. "Of course," he says.

"You know the rules? No dictionaries, thesauruses, or help of any kind when I give you a word. If you can't answer, then you have one chance to stump me, and that's it. If you manage it, you win. If you don't, you lose. You understand this?"

Of course, Loki remains stubborn. Thor doesn't let himself falter. "Yep."

"And should I catch you cheating, I will never return any of your phone calls, messages, or letters, and I will absolutely refuse to see you any more than I have to."

The thought of a world without his brother sends a jolt of fear down his spine, but he quells his rising heartbeat and simply shrugs. It's an empty threat meant to dissuade him. Nothing more. "You know I don't cheat, Loki."

Loki stares at him with raised eyebrows to challenge Thor's sincerity, and Thor stays still. He has spent months studying roots, memorizing definitions, and heightening his vocabulary, and there is nothing in the world that will stop him from proving to Loki just how much he cares.

Eventually, Loki's shoulders deflate. "Fine. If you're serious, give me your hand. We'll shake on it."

Grinning, Thor hops off his position on the bed and easily strides to Loki's desk chair. Their hands touch for the first time in what feels like forever. "If I win, you stay."

Testing green eyes settle on Thor's face. "Right. And if I win, you don't stop me."

"Deal," Thor agrees.

They shake, and Loki's eyes fill with determined secrecy, the kind he often shows when he's about to unleash some clever play that will leave all of his opponents breathless and stunned.

With no intention of letting him, Thor says the first word that comes to his mind. "'Hopeful.'"

"'Naive,'" Loki says without thought, but his eyes lose that terrifying gleam. "'Pompous.'"

The word is meant to insult him. He pushes away any emotion and focuses on the definitions and synonyms he has learned. He must _think_ to win this. Thor takes a step back to sit down on the bed while he ponders for a moment. "'Arrogant.'"

"Very good, Brother." Loki's eyes twinkle in the light. "Very unexpected. There is hope for you yet if this challenge has interested you in studying, and Father will be so pleased to learn you have a brain."

Knowing his brother's scheme, Thor chooses to ignore the barb to his intelligence. "'Stay,'" he says instead.

"Seriously? You are so dull. 'Remain.' Try 'brutish.'"

Thor glares.

"Oh, don't act all offended." A mischievous smile spreads across Loki's face, regardless that his target remains unamused. "Every word you've chosen so far has reeked of sentiment. Why can I not share my true feelings towards you?"

Thor knows what Loki's trying to do. He wants Thor to lose himself to his rage and slip into an error that will lose him the game—or worse, Loki's good will. Thor has to stay on high alert if he wants to keep Loki's company. "'Beastly,'" he says calmly.

"Mmm." Loki's lips twist into a snarl at the correct answer. "Again, surprising. At any rate, I have work to do, and as much as I would just _love_ to play this game all night, it is rather late. Go to bed."

Thor glances reluctantly towards the door with no intent to move. He wants Loki to speak, to take it back, to let him stay for a while longer.

Just as Loki expects, judging from the way his lips reform silently into satisfaction.

It hurts to see his brother reject him so. He wants (_needs_) to spend time with his brother. There is only a week left now before Loki might leave, a week in which Thor wants to savor every last shred of affection between them—before Loki's life takes him in a direction far away. He has never done so before, it has always been Loki who came to Thor's room during their childhood, but he's about to ask Loki if he can sleep in here for the night.

Loki's dry chuckle cuts into his thoughts. "Don't mope, Thor, it doesn't suit you," Loki says. "As long as you don't cheat, you can still call me, after all."

It's an empty promise. "If you answer you phone," Thor mutters.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Standing, Thor paces to the door, flips the light for his brother, and then pauses in the door frame to look back.

Through the blinds of the window, moonlight illuminates the dexterity of his brother's fingers as they pound incessantly on the keyboard. His flawless skin glows white in the dark, but he doesn't look up, no matter how resolutely Thor waits.

The inattention of his brother increases Thor's discomfort, but he strives to keep his feet planted—just in case Loki changes his mind. He wants to see those bright, clever eyes of emeralds once more before he sleeps.

After several delayed moments, Loki's fingers pause. "Go to bed, Thor. I'm tired, and I need to finish this."

Thor's hand wraps around the door knob. "'Forever,'" he tries softly.

Loki brows draw into a frown. "'Eternity.'" He still doesn't look up.

Throat tight, Thor closes the door and goes to bed. Once he hears the whiz of a computer shutting down in the adjacent room and the creaking of a bed, he finally manages to catch some sleep.

* * *

A/N: Since this is really short, I posted the second chapter along with it. Every chapter actually is already written and just in need of editing, so you can count on this story being finished. I shall try to post Day 3 as soon as possible. If you want to find me on Tumblr to talk more, my username is sigyndenning, but otherwise, see you guys soon! :)


	2. Chapter 2

Day Two

"What are you reading? Is that a dictionary?"

His friend settles next to him on the bench, and Thor glances briefly at her. "Yeah."

His classes ended an hour ago, but he remains, in the library, afraid to return home and infringe on his brother's company yet again. Besides, studying here will help to brush up on his vocabulary and to warm up before the real battle begins again.

"He accepted your challenge then?" Sif drops her bag onto the floor and pulls out her laptop. "That's good, I guess, but remember a few months of studying isn't going to compete well with his whole life."

His heart surges with the urge to argue, but what she says is true. "I know," Thor says, eyes trained on the text, "but he won't agree unless it's in his advantage. And I've already surprised him."

"Mmm. Thor?"

Thor finally marks his place with a finger and looks seriously at his friend. Her eyes burn with compassion for him, but at the same time, he already knows her opinion on this. He should let Loki go, he understands—but Sif will never understand the way Loki behaves and how important it is that he stays. Loki's a chameleon. If you look away for too long, he will disappear.

Sif sighs. "Why don't you just tell him?"

And that is why he values her friendship. Sif is the only one with whom he felt comfortable to confess his true feelings, the only one who would never tease him for such devotion to his younger brother. And she is the only one now who can guess the real reason Thor wants Loki to stay.

"I don't know how to tell him," he admits.

Sif reaches out and touches him on the shoulder, and Thor leans into the comfort of her friendship. "How would you tell anyone else?" she asks.

"You know I'm horrible at explaining things."

"Then show him."

Easier said than done, but he is through acting the coward.

That night, he spends hours of his mother's patience, mixing flour and butter and sugar until his hands and hair are sticky and white. At the end, he comes upstairs before Loki's alarming sense of smell can catch whiff of the plan, and he presents Loki with his favorite, strawberry-flavored scones.

Loki eyes the the mess of ingredients that is Thor's hair. "You helped Mother make them?"

A sense of pride fills him. "_I _made them," Thor says.

Gingerly, Loki takes one of the scones and scrutinizes it for a while. Several moments pass before he takes a bite, and several more pass before he takes another one. Thor's shoulders relax.

"Tolerable," Loki says, his eyebrows furrowing.

Thor grins. "Adequate."

"Ah, very assuming, dear Brother," Loki says. "How did you know that was the next word?"

"You get a weird look. Your eyebrows tilt." In a better mood than yesterday, Thor sits down on his usual spot on the bed and dives into his own scone, which doesn't taste half as bad as he thought it would. "Whenever you're thinking about something. It's pretty—"_adorable _"—funny, actually." He covers his near slip by swallowing an excessive amount of dessert. Show him, he reminds himself, don't use words.

Loki sets down his plate and regards Thor with his full attention. "I see."

"Can I sleep here tonight?" Thor blurts.

Immediately Thor regrets his words as the hum of nighttime wind outside overwhelms their conversation. Loki's face remains unreadable as ever, even more so than usual, and there's no way to tell how he will eventually react or what he will say.

Thor's instincts scream to apologize before Loki endlessly torments him for it, but a part of him refuses to relinquish his hope that Loki will let him stay.

"Hm," Loki finally says, a single eyebrow arched in an elegant line, "I suppose that would depend on your vocabulary. Let's try a few rounds."

"'Emerald,'" Thor says while glancing at the dazzling light in Loki's eyes.

"'Green.'" Loki smirks. "'Star.'"

He pictures the night sky outside immediately and can't think of anything else that could possibly name one of the dim lights in the darkness. The realization startles him, but before any panic can seize him, he focuses. Loki is trying to outsmart him. Then he remembers another definition for star. "'Celebrity,'" he says, and looks to Loki's strands of hair, smoothed back and gorgeous. "'Ebony.'"

"'Black.' My, are you describing my appearance, Brother? 'Temper.'"

Another trick, and he is not fooled. "'Soothe.'" He swallows. "'Alluring.'"

Then, Loki frowns, and Thor believes he has made a grave mistake. His shoulders tense.

"First you make scones for me," Loki says slowly, "then you ask to sleep here for the first time in our lives, and now this. What are you trying to tell me?"

He swallows again. "It's just a game."

"Mmm. 'Attractive.'"

Feeling defeated when Loki doesn't offer another word, Thor pushes himself to his feet and prepares to head to his room for another tiring night.

Before he takes one step, Loki grabs the hem of his sleeve. "Where are you going? I said you could stay."

_No, you didn't. _Thor shoves the words out of his mind and tries to calm the frustration welling up inside. Loki seems to make constant efforts to confuse and trick—as if he enjoys watching Thor scramble to do one thing wrong just so he can enjoy telling Thor to do something else. Sometimes, it's hard to let Loki play with him like a toy, just to get what he wants.

Huffing, he makes his way back to Loki's bed, only to hear Loki chuckling. "Well, now that I think about it, I _would _prefer to avoid flour on my pillows, if possible."

Thor growls. "Loki—"

"Calm yourself, Thor. I didn't say you had to shower alone."

The anger drains out of Thor as if through a sift. He stares at Loki, unsure if either his ears or his mind have misunderstood.

But Loki sits up straighter in his chair and unbuttons the collar of his shirt slowly. Their eyes lock for the entire time.

Heat rises in Thor's chest, and he imagines sucking marks into the pale expanse of neck his brother reveals. The images fill his mind, of his brother naked and trembling beneath him, their limbs tangled in a sweaty mess—it might be a joke. It still might be a joke.

"Thinking too hard again, I see," Loki whispers. "Your head looks like it's about to break." He smiles. "Come now, you're always horrible at hiding your secrets from me, and tonight you weren't even trying. Tell me—how long have you felt this way?"

He isn't joking. Thor forces himself to breathe evenly through his nose and out through his mouth. "A long time," he admits.

"I see. So now that I'm leaving, you have found the perfect opportunity. You must figure you'll lose me either way," Loki says. "Very clever of you."

Thor frowns. "No, now that you're leaving, I realize I should have told you the truth eons ago. I don't want you to go, Loki. I want you to stay, whether you reciprocate or not. Why don't you understand that?"

"Understand what? That you're selfish and stubborn and you won't let me pursue something that I _love _? Everything is always about you. Where you go to college, what you plan to do with your future, your goals, your life, your friends, your dreams—why not, for one second, will someone just think about what _I _want?"

"You can pursue whatever you want _right here _!"

"It's one of the best schools in the world," Loki says. "_ The world. _What do you expect me to do?"

"I expect you to care!" Thor bellows. The silence that follows reminds him that their parents are sleeping, but while Thor lowers his voice, his feelings remain strong and vicious. "The year I spent on the soccer team—traveling all the time—you never picked up your phone. Not once. When I came home, I barely recognized you."

Loki runs a hand through his hair, though tears spring to his eyes. "Oh, don't be ridiculous—"

"I mean it. I barely even know you right now. Sometimes . . ." Thor pauses here as his heart pounds sickeningly. "Sometimes I wonder if you'll ever come back after you leave."

Loki stares at him with an expression of utter misery. "There's not much this place offers me," he says quietly.

It's as good as a confirmation. Thor storms out of Loki's room.

"Thor, wait!"

He slams the door and doesn't look back.


	3. Chapter 3

Day Three

In the morning, Loki knocks on Thor's door.

Thor doesn't think he can stand seeing Loki again knowing that his brother is just going to leave his home and family forever. He takes an extra long time to get ready, just so he has an excuse not to answer.

His friends made plans with him tonight—plans he accepted after storming out of Loki's room the night before, because he needs something to keep him occupied, something to move past his anger and accept the fact that his little brother _wants _to leave him.

Eventually, the knocking stops, and Thor actually focuses on brushing his teeth. Just to be sure, he makes his bed and tidies his room (sloppily, as he rarely does so), and finally, _finally_ he goes to his door, expecting Loki to be well downstairs and eating breakfast.

Instead, he finds Loki sitting on the floor of the hallway. "Morning," Loki murmurs.

Thor's fists clench, though he holds his temper.

After a moment, he catches site of the shadows and redness circling Loki's eyes—he has cried recently.

Suddenly it's hard to figure out how to handle this, because his previous rage insists that he stomp downstairs and ignore his brother, but at the same time, the tears prove that Loki _does _care, at least a little—and he can't in good conscious ignore him now.

"I made pancakes," Loki says, and pushes himself to his feet. "They're downstairs. And I cleared my schedule for the rest of the week."

It's not enough. "You're still going to leave," Thor says and turns to go down the hallway.

Loki's eyes track him, but he doesn't move. "Not if you win the game," he says quietly.

Thor stops.

"I . . . told you there isn't much for me here." An unusually harsh exhale cuts through Loki's words. "It was the truth. You know as well as I do that things would go more smoothly with the family if I left. Father could pretend I'm normal and successful when I'm far away, and Mother . . ." Loki stops again, and back turned, Thor can still hear the anguish in his voice. "Well, she wouldn't fight with him so much."

Frowning, Thor turns to face his little brother and shakes his head. "That's not your fault."

"I know . . . but it burdens me to be here. Constantly expected to be a certain way yet overlooked. Borrowing your friends. I want to go to a place where people don't know me. Or you." Loki draws in a small breath. "But if I did stay," he says in a voice so soft that Thor strains to hear, "I'd stay for you."

Heart in his throat, Thor fumbles with his belt loops. "I made plans with Sif and them tonight."

He regrets those plans now, because all at once, he remembers how little time he and his brother have together. At the same time, he doesn't want to change his mind with such short notice and cancel on them either.

"That's fine," Loki says.

The following silence reveals exactly what they're _not _talking about.

Neither of them mention what dark secret Loki discovered the night before. It's too fragile a subject for the wreck that their friendship is now. Loki stares directly into Thor's eyes, as if expecting him to say something about the feelings he confessed—but Thor doesn't know what to say.

The silence grows awkward with the gaping hole, until Loki finally speaks. "Well, do you want me to join you tonight then?"

Thor pounces on the subject presenting an escape, and then stunned, he double checks his brother's sincerity. "You want to come with me to see _them_?"

Smiling, Loki shrugs. "Not particularly interested in seeing them, but yes, I want to come with you. Who knows? I might even behave."

Thor affectionately bumps his fist to his brother's chest. "You better."

And Loki's smile widens.

It feels good, almost as though Loki is considering staying. Deep down in his heart, Thor remembers that first night—when that gleam appeared in Loki's eye—and Thor fears he will not win the game. Even so, the game is a distraction. If he can show Loki he can be just as happy here as anywhere else, maybe Loki will decide to stay anyway.

"_If I did stay, I'd stay for you."_

Much more spirited, Thor leads the way downstairs and to the pancakes.

* * *

That night, Loki does behave. Too well.

Loki doesn't latch on to the sensitive subjects carelessly mentioned as he usually does. He remains bright and talkative and social, even going as far to drink a couple shots of beer, which is rare enough to note.

At some point, he even leaves Thor's side to follow Fandral into the kitchen.

For a few minutes, it eases Thor's mind to see him enjoying himself, and he drinks to encourage his good spirits. Then, Loki does not return from the kitchen, and a strange emotion starts to swirl in Thor's gut.

"Did you tell him?" Sif asks while Hogun and Volstagg play a video game.

"He guessed," Thor says. His eyes focus on the bright light beyond the door.

There's no noise, other than the unintelligible sound of a conversation, but Thor still feels slighted somehow. He came here to have fun with _Loki_, not for Loki to abandon him with Fandral.

"And?" Sif asks.

"I'm not sure."

He honestly doesn't know how his brother reacted to the news. It's no secret his brother takes interest in men, but incest is an entirely different subject. And—Fandral admitted years ago he was gay.

The thought sends the swirling feeling into a turmoil of rage. "What are they doing in there?" he blurts.

"Just talking probably." Sif smirks. "It seems Loki wasn't offended about the incestuous aspect."

Irrationally, Thor wants to wipe the smirk off her face with how similarly it matches Loki's, but Sif is just trying to help—he thinks. "How do you know that he wasn't offended?" he says.

"Because of how he's acting right now. It's clear he wants you jealous."

"Yeah? Well, it's working." Irritated, Thor bounces to his feet and stalks over to the kitchen where he throws open the door.

Inside, Fandral and Loki innocent sit on the counter while Loki fumbles with his phone. Their feet are bare and touching, and Fandral's chin lies too snugly on Loki's shoulder. More importantly, they're not kissing.

Momentarily stunned at failing to capture them in anything more than a conversation, Thor pauses at the entrance.

"Oh, Thor!" Loki says. "You're just in time."

Thor growls a low warning. "In time for what?"

"We were about to take a selfie," says Fandral.

And Loki giggles.

Loki.

Giggles.

"Come here, Thor," Loki says, "come join us. Try not to smash anything."

Adrenaline pumping, Thor crosses the entire room in exactly three strides and glares straight into the camera.

"Smiiiile," Loki says and his camera audibly snaps the picture. "Oh, Thor, that is the ugliest face I've ever seen you make. Why don't you take a few more lessons from your _dashing _friend?"

Fandral laughs. "I'm not sure I'd even want to try."

"Loki," Thor says lowly. His blood thrums to his heartbeat.

"Let's see." Another giggle. "Tipsy. Give me a synonym for tipsy."

Thor says nothing, even as Fandral surveys them both in confusion.

"Are you stumped? Does this mean I win?" Loki asks.

"Intoxicated," Thor spits. He's going to _win_. Right now. "Carnage."

"What is this?" Fandral asks.

They both ignore him.

"Ahaha, bloodshed. Violent much, Brother?" Loki giggles again and leans close enough to Fandral that their cheeks touch. "Jealousy."

Thor grabs Loki by the scruff of his collar. "Envy! We're going home."

As he drags his brother to the door, he sees more shots of beers scattered across the counter top and realizes Loki is much more drunk than he realized. Loki laughs wildly and waves to all of their friends, who look on with wide eyes, knowing better than to come between Thor and his rage.

"Thooor, you can't drive, you're drunk," Loki whines as Thor all but tosses him into the backseat of the car.

"I'm buzzed. _You're _drunk. And we're not driving. We're sitting here until I'm sober."

"In the car? So boring!"

"Shut up." Thor tears out his phone and to catch up on his text messages and status updates to keep himself busy, though it turns out to be more of a distraction from the lust narrowing in on the warm body pressed up against him. "Stop fidgeting," Thor snaps, and Loki stills.

It's utter quiet for one blessed moment, until Loki twitches again, his hand settling comfortably by Thor's leg. It stills before Thor has a chance to shout again, but a few minutes later, the hand inches closer to Thor's inner thigh.

Thor pushes the hand away. "Stop it," he growls.

Loki snorts. "Stop what? I'm just getting comfortable."

Another few minutes, and Loki's hand moves again, this time with much more certainty, as he plants it directly on Thor's crotch.

Jumping, Thor shoves Loki's hand away. "What are you—"

Loki presses hot lips to his before he can even finish the sentence, and all of the rage and jealousy coiled up in Thor's stomach releases in pure and unhindered _want_. He wraps arms around Loki's shoulders and presses their heads tightly together. The parking lot of the apartment complex is empty at this time of night, but it could be rush hour on a Monday and Thor wouldn't care.

"Mmm, Thor, fuck me—"

"Right here?"

"No, let's go outside first. _Yes, you idiot_."

Loki presses his chest to Thor's, and their hearts beat in unison through the fabric of their clothes. While Loki unbuttons his shirt, Thor mindlessly lowers his arms to give his brother room and grips the tight set of Loki's jeans. Panting heavily, Loki pulls off his shirt, and Thor sucks on Loki's collarbone, hardly believing his fantasy real.

"Please—Thor, ahhhh—I want you,"Loki moans breathlessly. His hands fumble with the buttons of Thor's jeans. "Hurry."

Thor helps him with his jeans, never once ending the contact between his lips and Loki's salty, pale skin, and once the pants lay in a heap on the car floor, he works on freeing his brother's pulsing erection.

"Ahhhh," Loki moans as it comes free.

Thor's own hardens at the sound. Loki's shirt comes straight off, and Thor presses him straight into the backseat cushion of the car. He wants to give Loki the next word—his brother is drunk _and _incoherently lusting. He could win. He could win right now, at the same time as Thor comes down on Loki—shared breath and sweat mingling.

Loki's trembling hips buck directly against Thor's.

Only then does Thor actually think about what they're doing.

"Loki, you're drunk," he says, and pulls so reluctantly away.

It doesn't help that Loki shakes his head, moaning full-heartedly, and uses his hands to grind their hips together. The car steams up with the heat and sweat their bodies release, and oh—he wants this _so bad_.

"Loki, I'm serious," he says through clenched teeth. "I can't do this."

"Thor, pleeease, I swear—I'm completely consenting."

The odd formation of the words from _Loki's _lips just proves Thor's point. "Get up. Get your pants on."

"Thoooor," Loki whines.

Thor shoves clothes at Loki and starts on his own, when he catches sight of someone making their way out to the parking lot.

Breath stuttering in his chest, he recognizes the man as one of Fandral's neighbors. "Fuck, get dressed," Thor says, and yanks a pair of jeans up his legs. The zipper doesn't close all the way, but there's no time to wait.

Loki sees the neighbor as well, and sobers enough to yank on the clothes. They scramble to the front seat, and Thor starts the engine and flips on the headlights so the glare will conceal his bare chest. He drives slowly at first, to make sure any effects of the small amount of alcohol have worn off, and then starts driving home.

Loki giggles in the passenger's seat halfway there.

"What?" Thor says. Then he notices the clothes Loki wears are far too baggy.

"You're wearing my pants," Loki says as if it's the funniest thing in the world.

Thor smiles. It's been an age. "Explains the zipper," he says, and Loki bursts into more peals of laughter. He buries the lust in his body with the relief that he still knows how his brother smiles.

When he gets home and ensures Loki is safely tucked into bed with a cool glass of water on his nightstand, Thor feels an abundance of guilt more sobering than the neighbor nearly spotting them in the parking lot.

He nearly fucked his brother.

His _drunk _brother.

And possibly ruined any chance of convincing Loki to stay.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry it took me so long. On top of this being a terrible chapter, I've been working on other things. This fanfiction was meant more as a happy distraction to me while I wrote total angst. XD But I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Day Four

Loki sleeps in the next morning, long after Thor has already gone to classes. As he sits listening to a teacher drone on and on, he starts to regret the series of poor decisions he made the night before. On one hand, he wants to go home and salvage their friendship as soon as possible. On the other hand, he's terrified to even meet Loki's eyes after what happened.

Thor attends his classes for the summer semester as normal, and his nervousness to go home and see his brother makes the day longer. Each minute drags by until finally his last class is released.

The apprehension only increases when he comes home to find Loki still in bed and irritable.

Struck by the tense coiling of his gut, Thor avoids any reminders of last night and doesn't dare to broach the subject at all. "You want to catch a movie tonight?" he asks the lump of pillows and blankets that hides Loki from view.

"No," Loki says. "I'm sick."

"Loki, it's five in the afternoon. You're not hungover anymore."

"I don't want to." Loki buries his face further into the pillows of his bed and goes limp and unresponsive. One of his feet slips out from under the blanket, and Thor reaches to tickle the curve heel. Even that does nothing but drag a patient sigh from Loki's lips.

"'Subtle,'" Thor tries.

Loki's eyes blink open to glare. No words are necessary to convey that his brother is absolutely not in the mood for the game right now.

Thor simply grins."Do you forfeit?"

"'Slight,'" Loki hisses, "'_perturbed.'_"

"'Irritated.' Come on, get up. I'll buy you ice cream."

There's little Loki can do to resist his dessert. Sure enough, his eyes narrow in interest. "What flavor?" he asks suspiciously.

"What do you think? Strawberry, of course."

"Fine!"

Though the word sounds ferocious, Thor relaxes somewhat at the return to normal bickering, rather than the indifference Loki had shown. It encourages his decision to not remind Loki of last night—maybe he doesn't even remember.

Once Loki pulls himself out of bed, Thor leaves his room and shuts the door so that Loki can get dressed and ready.

After a few minutes, Loki comes out in the tightest jeans he owns, topped by a button-up shirt layered with a close fitting black vest. It reveals the lines of his body clearly to Thor. Loki's hair lies flawlessly with only a couple strands brushing against his forehead, and Thor itches to reach out and brush them away.

Underneath the undone buttons of Loki's shirt, Thor catches a glimpse of the mark he inflicted on Loki's collarbone last night, and turns his eyes away as an incredible amount of guilt explodes within him. The undone buttons are probably deliberate. Loki probably _wants _him to feel guilty, _wants _him to humiliate himself and sinfully check out his own little brother.

With that in mind, Thor directs every cell in his body to avoid looking at his brother at all.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Loki stiffen. "Well? The ice cream better be well worth your stupid taste in movies," Loki says. He sounds even more irritable than before.

"Hey, you liked the last one I chose," Thor says.

"I tolerated it. There is a difference."

"Right." Thor glances at Loki's face to see if his brother is teasing, and instead notices this may run deeper than Thor originally thought. Loki's jaw clenches as Thor studies him, as if holding his breath, and—it must be that he remembers last night. Swallowing, Thor forces himself to look away, cringing at the way Loki's shoulders deflate. "Well, let's go find out then."

Thor battles his lust and pointedly ignores Loki's appearance during the car ride—the way tight jeans reveal the exact shape of Loki's legs, the way his unbuttoned collar begs Thor to reach over and brush across rarely showing skin. Unfortunately his peripheral vision sees enough.

It's harder now, to shove such scandalous thoughts aside and simply enjoy the company of his brother, because the secret is out in the open between them. Thor had a taste last night, and now it's even more difficult to not _want_. But he can't lose his brother, so he perseveres.

Even when Loki crosses his legs and settles one hand on his own crotch, using the other to finger the next button of his shirt—even then, Thor doesn't look.

And Loki's glare darkens—Thor wants to fix that chasm between them by showing Loki he can be just as much of a brother as before and burying his lustful desires, no matter what his brother throws at him. He focuses his eyes on the road for the rest of the way, but strangely, Loki's mood seems to decline even more with each passing second.

"Ice cream now or after?" Thor asks as they park.

"I don't care," Loki mutters and gets out of the car.

Loki _always _demands ice cream first.

Cautiously, Thor shuts off the ignition and locks the doors as he gets out, only to find Loki staring angrily at the pavement as he kicks a stone.

"We can get ice cream first then," Thor tries and leads his brother towards the mall connected to the theater. It's somewhere new—Sif, who loves ice cream nearly as much as Loki, recommended the place, and he hopes the good quality will brighten Loki's mood.

As much as he wants to, he does not swing an arm around Loki's shoulders, because he doesn't know how his brother will interpret it. Instead, he keeps his hands at his sides, and at one point, Loki walks so closely that their hands brush across each other's.

"Sorry," Thor murmurs awkwardly and folds his arms to ensure it doesn't happen again.

When they reach the shop and Thor buys Loki his promised cup of strawberry-flavored ice cream, Loki barely even touches it. Thor finishes half of his chocolate scoop, before he can't hold back anymore.

"Do you not like it? We can go somewhere else."

"No, it tastes fine." As if to prove his words, Loki takes another few bites, but then stops and takes to staring at the couple noisily flirting behind them.

Thor tries to figure out where he is going wrong—last night was a mistake, but he's been making so many efforts to fix this. Each attempt seems to do the opposite of correcting the problem, and Thor can't figure out why. What happened to the carefree, affectionate brother who used to fight dragons with him, who insisted on late night journeys to the park, who pulled pranks at the dinner table just to make Thor laugh? Even last night, he caught a glimpse of a more playful Loki closer to his brother of the past.

Then, he remembers Loki was drunk. Maybe this is just how Loki normally feels about him now.

Lately they haven't spent much time together, not during the school year when Loki was studying for advanced curricular classes and when Thor struggled to be with him whenever his odd class hours didn't conflict with Loki's spare time. And over the summer, Thor spent so much time studying words in order to convince Loki to stay that he lost time he could have spent with his brother.

Maybe Loki just doesn't enjoy spending time together the way they used to as children. Maybe to him, this is a chore.

Thor bites his tongue to keep his heart from rising any higher in his throat. It takes several moments for him to compose himself enough to speak. "We don't have to see the movie," he says.

Loki's eyes dart towards his. "What?"

The couple behind him giggles uncontrollably at some stupid joke, and Thor's stomach twists. He clears his throat. "If you want, we can skip the movie. And just go home."

Loki's eyes start to sparkle in the light of the ice cream parlor, though Thor thinks it might just be because his own vision grows more blurry with every second. "Okay," Loki says, very quietly, and finishes his ice cream.

Thor makes sure to keep his hand from brushing Loki's again on the way out to the parking lot, though Loki walks a safer distance away this time. They get into the car, and Thor drives off—his mind filled with words. It's his turn

_Forlorn_, he could say. _Bitter. Passion. Unbearable._

He doesn't say any of them, because why should he play this game anymore if Loki does not want to be with him, even as a friend. They don't speak, until they get home and Thor pulls the car into the garage.

"Loki," he says before his brother can get out.

Loki stops and looks at him with an expression of such hope that it nearly blinds him.

"Loki, I should have said this a while ago," he says, heart pounding with guilt. "Last night was a mistake, and I'm so sorry for . . ."

Loki freezes for a moment before his eyes well up with tears. He scrambles out of the car.

Stunned, Thor retrieves his keys to go after his brother, but by the time he makes it upstairs, Loki is shut in his room, and the door is locked. Thor's forehead drops onto the smooth wood of the door, and he withholds everything he wants to say, everything he wants to do.

"Loki?"

There's no answer.

"I'm sorry," Thor says and goes to bed.


End file.
